I just got done playing DOOM Eternal, and I gotta say its a solid 9/10. I was planning to do a full review of it, but I don’t feel like I can add anything new to the conversation that others haven’t already said. The game is an absolute triumph for both the genre and the industry as a whole, with fabulous gameplay, environments, combat and even an interesting story to boot. But I didn’t wanna do just a standard review, because despite being Average Joe REVIEWS, I feel like making a ranking list for the bosses of DOOM. Now I will admit despite being a big DOOM fan, I have yet to play through the other games to completion, so I will instead be covering the bosses of DOOM Eternal and the 2016 DOOM Reboot. But first I gotta set some ground rules as to how I will be ranking these bosses.
- How fun they are?
- How are they built up?
- How diverse are they?
- Was it satisfying to win?
So without further ado, grab your Super Shotgun, blast that Mick Gordon soundtrack, and let’s dive in.
THIS LIST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR DOOM (2016) AND DOOM ETERNAL! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
The Khan Maykr
One of the most hyped-up enemies in the game, we have a boss fight that quite frankly is the definition of a slog. Now sometimes slog boss fights can be fun, but this one was just annoying and exceedingly dull. A 5 phase fight where Khan Makyr just flies around launching projectiles and all you have to do is whittle her health down and then Meathook up to her punching her in the chest. She also spawns near map covering floor fire making it a really annoying game of hopscotch to get to a vantage point that won’t burn you to a crisp. This fight has no changes in move-sets or diverse arsenal changes, its basically just a neverending snooze fest with nothing particularly memorable or satisfying. You don’t even kill Khan Maykr, she dies of her injuries, I think if any boss deserved to be personally disembodied by the Slayer, it’s the deceptive, sinister and despicable Khan Maykr. Plus the fight just kinda happens, the Urdak level was already a chore to get through and this was just adding to the frustration. Sorry to say this fight didn’t Maykr an impact on me.

The Hell Guards
DOOM 2016 was kinda sparse on new demons. Aside from The Possessed, the Hell Razer (which was a glorified soldier), the Cyber Manccubus (which was just a glorified Manccubus) and the Summoner (which was just an Archvile), the game lacked new and interesting foes to face in the fight against Hell. But one of the brand spanking new demons is the Hell Guard, and oh boy they wasted one badass name on a boring boss. The Hell Guard is not only a borderline underpowered boss with a predicable move-set, but it has one of the most boring second phases that any boss can have, spawning 2 weaker versions. While I don’t necessarily hate this fight in the moment and in the heat of the battle, it just feels like a total waste, nothings engaging, new or intuitive with this boss, it’s just a big beefy beater that swings around like a madman and spits fire once in a while. Sorry to say that there’s no way this boss can guard its honour.

The Gladiator
Ok, I will admit this, this boss fight has easily one of, if not the best theme of the whole game. If you love metal you owe it to yourself to listen to Gladiator from the DOOM Eternal soundtrack, it’s a visceral barrage of music that’s a total treat. Truly a shame the boss fight doesn’t match that awesomeness. First off, I enjoy this level and the buildup to the fight, this level basically acting as an exposition dump for the identity of the Doom Slayer. While some have problems with this exposition, I personally find it a nice break from the chaos and it acts as the calm before the storm for this boss. The problem with this boss is its literally just a beefy Marauder fight, and if people know the Marauder you have an idea of how unbearable that hellspawn is. With specific attack windows and a second phase that’s literally the same as the first but just a slightly different spice on the shield, he’s honestly kinda dull. I also think his weird chain alley trap thing is eerily similar to the Cyber Demon from DOOM 2016, but maybe that’s just me. Sorry Gladiator, but even if you are an old DOOM Hellknight (look it up) I have to give you a thumbs down.

The Spider Mastermind
The grand finale of DOOM 2016, and what better boss for the reboot than the boss that started it all, the Spider Mastermind. As Olivia Pierce is betrayed by the forces of Hell, she mutates into a horrific amalgamation of demon and machine, and this is one heck of a fight. With some unique moves, this boss keeps you on your toes and forces you to utilize all your tools and weapons you’ve acquired throughout the game to win this bout. Not to mention a downright satisfying finisher, with you shooting a big round of BFG ammo right into the creepy crawlies ugly mug. The worst thing I can say about this boss is that despite being the final boss it feels a little too simple, I was expecting at least another phase of the fight. But at the end of the day, this is where we start breaking into the positives with these boss fights.

The Doom Hunter(s)
A boss fight where the enemy has a shield, and a second phase that’s just 2 more…do we have another Hell Guard situation on our hands? Well…yes and no, let me explain. While this fight is a different take on the Hell Guards, I think it has that extra special flare to it. For starters, you see this fight built up throughout the level whereas the Hell Guards kinda just appeared to fill a quota of sorts. The whole Doom Hunter Base sees you slowly witnessing the construction of the big bad bruiser, all ending with the vile Deag Ranak unleashing his apex predator on the Doom Slayer. That aside, this fight is certainly engaging, with much more movement than the Hell Guards, but even past that this fight has a lot of unique and powerful attacks that keep you on your toes. The shift in environments also forces you to adapt to the sudden reveal of 2 more Doom Hunters. I would prefer a second phase more interesting than just typing /spawn: Doom_Hunter_x2 but for what its worth, these hunters still hit their mark for me.

The Icon of Sin
Taking home the silver in this list, the iconic boss returns as the grand finale of DOOM Eternal, and it’s bigger and badder than ever before. The Icon of Sin is given a new look, having a hulking titan body and a new Maykr armour finish, turning this unholy fiend even more deadly. Both DOOM 2016 and earlier parts of DOOM Eternal hinted at the slayer having dynamic battles with giants such as the Icon of Sin, and here we get to experience it first hand. The fight may seem simple, with your task being to shoot off the Icon of Sins armour first, followed by a second phase of simply filling that dastardly demon with as many bullets as you can. But all the while you have to dodge this leviathans crushing attacks and onslaught of energy blasts, all the while fending off some of the most vicious demons in the game, turning this into one of the most hard-fought struggles for survival in the game. While it can be a bit cluttered, and I would have personally loved to have had the fight be the Doom Slayer fighting on the Icon of Sin itself Shadow of the Colossus style, this fight is still a marvel to behold and a joy to experience. This is what it was all building up to, and your skill is pushed to the limits, helping to push DOOM Eternal to be an icon of the genre.

The Cyberdemon
Erase your mind, imagine it’s your first time playing DOOM 2016, and you’ve arrived at the Lazarus Labs, and throughout the level, something is looming, a feeling of something big. Codex entries tell of a powerful demon the UAC had been experimenting with, calling it the “flagship creation of the Lazarus Labs.” Then you come to a mighty cache of weapons, health and armour, opening a large door before you. Just when you least expect it, the beast finally reveals itself! The Cyberdemon is back, and unlike other demons, this one doesn’t fear you and is out for blood, your blood. This fight is very similar to the Cyberdemon of old but adds just enough to make it fresh, or rather make it a fresh hell to fight. We have laser blast, rocket tackles, devastating melee strikes and a barrage of missiles, and to top it all off a kickass soundtrack to really get you in the mood for some ripping and tearing. Then, just when you think it’s all over, the Cyberdemon gets back up for round 2, and has some new tricks up its demonic sleeves! The second phase of this fight ups the ante with some new high-speed moves and attacks that try to pressure the Doom Slayer in his relentless fight against the hulking fiend. But boy is this Cyberdemon satisfying to defeat, with an absolute stand out Glory Kill to boot. It’s truly a shame the Cyberdemon doesn’t make a return in DOOM Eternal fully, rather is remained to Tyrant and made to act as a simple heavy enemy, but it’s still good to see him in some form. In conclusion, the badass build-up, rocking soundtrack and dynamic combat all come together to make the Cyberdemon the best DOOM boss battle.

Afterthoughts
Well, that just about wraps this one, feels good to get back into the swing of things with another list. You’d think during this historic time of lockdown I’d have more time than ever to do blog posts, but I still have a lot to do, guess I’m never safe from the grind. I wanted to do another DOOM related posts, and not one like that cringy 2016 DOOM review I did back at the start of Average Joe Reviews (I’m not linking that disaster, you have to find it yourselves). I plan to do more DOOM posts in the future, maybe something like my Senran Kagura Month where I review all the games and rank them best to worst. But whatever the case, this post goes out to all those fighting the good fight, you truly are the Doom Slayers protecting us all!

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed it. If you did please consider leaving a like and following my blog for updates on future posts. Also, follow me on twitter @joe_reviews for further updates and general nonsense. Until next time.
I know I’m not a doom fanatic or anything so when it comes to doom as a series it’s not really anything special story wise but I can agree it’s definitely fun to play and how it’s one of the few fps that throws you into the action regardless of difficulty and the multiplayer stuff is a lot of fun from the bit I played at a friend’s house.
You know what’s gonna be tough to talk about and review is ff7 remake since for me I’ll need a month to play it and let any and all bias nostalgia was over me to give a honest review cause there’s a lot if good in it but there’s a certain amount of concerns I feel would be unfair to ignore.
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Yeah, good luck with the FF7 review, you’re braver than me to review a Final Fantast game lol. THe thing about the DOOM story is that Eternal actually has a long fleshed out story, some people disapprove but personally I like it, it makes sense that in this new era of DOOM it should get more story to match the extreme action. Just pure action is fine but it would get overwhelming for the senses very fast.
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