The Truth EXPOSED!
Yes people, that post I did about my favourite Pokemon, THIS ONE RIGHT HERE, it was all a lie. My favourite Pokemon isn’t Shedinja at all. ‘But then what is your favourite Pokemon?’ I hear you ask inquisitevly. Well I’m glad you asked, and to answer your question, it is Simipour.
Just look at this amazing little water monkey, if you don’t think he’s the best Pokemon, well I shall change your mind right here and right now! So strap yourselves in and prepare to have your mind blown.
The Best Design
This Pokemon has a legendary design. Screw the dragon Charizard, Simpour is the best designed Pokemon. Points in favour; First off his hair is amazing, those luscious locks will know you down before you can say ‘nice hair’. His face just screams confidence and determination, his eyes forever closed, since our world is beneath his vision! His tail is also awesome, just look at the way it sways. Points against; NONE! Simipour is the best looking pokemon hands down!
An Awesome Pokedex Entry!
The water monkey has some fascinating lore behind it. The Pokedex shows that if this Pokemon can store water in its sick looking dreads and it has enough power in its tail that can shatter concrete. Suck it Blastoise! Smimpour got your number and is gonna call your bluff!
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So there we have it, that’s Simipour. I hope you guys loved this detailed discussion about why I love Simipour. Anyways remember to like, follow and till next time…
… He’s just so amazing and likeable and…and…Ok…stay calm…stay calm Joe…OK I CANNOT HOLD IT BACK! I HATE SIMIPOUR WITH A PASSION! This Pokemon is a sin against arceus and it is the undisputed king of hatred that resides over my nightmares! Now why do I hate Simipour? Honestly that’s why I hate it, I don’t know. Why out of this trio of weird elemental monkey’s, do I hate Simipour? I don’t hate Pampour or even Pansage, Pansear, Simisage or Simisear. So why out of these 6 pokemon is Simipour the only one I hate? Well for me it’s design is just infuritating, the stupid hair, the dumb smug grin, and the fact it’s eyes always stay closed, it just makes it look so annoying and cocky. I also think it has something to do with…PTSD (Pokemon Traumatic Stress Disorder). Black and White was a game that I have some painful memories of. The first gym was impossible for me, because back then I didn’t understand how stats worked, I didn’t know the difference between attack and special attack and basically if a move looked or sounded cool I’d use it. I got stuck fighting Panpor and since then I hated it. But then…but then the unthinkable happened. my Tepig, that had suffered 30+ losses at the hands of Panpour, had evolved into the mighty Emboar, and it had redeemed itself. But then it faced a Simipour and was the last pokemon on my team…only to lose. History repeated itself and since then I have bore a grudge against Simipour. There is nothing you can say that will make me like Simipour, I will forever hate that smug blue freak until I die, and let that be the end of it.
Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed it. This was just a little April Fools post, so apologies for it being kinda…odd. But hey if you did still enjoy it, please consider leaving a like and following my blog for updates on future (non April Fools) posts. Also follow me on twitter @joe_reviews for further updates and general nonsense. Till next time.